Van Gogh

I think its safe to say that I have a crush on Vincent Van Gogh.... I know I know its strange, but while people are stalking there friends on facebook, I stalk Van Gogh and his life. Not only does he Art work completely inspire and motivate me, but his life, his story extremely intrigues me.

Originally at 16 he starts an apprenticeship with his uncle Vincent at an international art dealership. Eventually he becomes bored with his life and turns to God. He started to work as a clergyman. He had a huge heart for people and wanted to help and love them. He became very passionate about evangelical Christianity and ministering to the poor. This didn't fit in with the church at the time, so he went to missionary school. Eventually he went to Borinage Belgium to preach to coal miners. He really fell in love with these people. He related to them, lived in there poor living conditions, and really just loved them where they were at. To me, it really sounds like Van Gogh was Jesus to them. BUT this also didn't fit in with Missionaries at the time. They still lived a comfortable life style yet tried to tell people about Jesus. To me, that doesn't make much sense, but whatever.

ANYWAYS... because of this, he also was asked to leave as an missionary field... and THAT'S when he decided that he was going to be an artist. He pretty much taught himself how to paint and draw. Is that not amazing?

The rest if his life was filled with a lot of tragedy, and in the end he commits suicide. That really breaks me heart.

Its also makes me sad how the church treated him. He was loving the way Jesus loved. They should have learned from him.

But anyways..... yeah.. that's my secret. I have a crush on Vincent Van Gogh..... and I bet now you do too.

This is probably his most famous and most recognizable painting, Starry Night. If you look at it though, notice that all the houses have lights on, but the church doesn't. That for sure expresses his heart for the Church. How sad is that?

So last night my dads side of the family and I went to Medieval times.....




(clockwise starting back left, brother jimmy, dad, grandma, grandpa,
step mom, half sister Livy, some man, half brother Jack, me)

We went for my dads 43rd birthday. At 1st I was skeptical about going, but seriously it was a blast! As you walk in you all get a crown which assigns you to the knight that you will be cheering for. Then you sit down at long tables, eat dinner with your hands, drink, and watch knights battle. It was great! At one point all the knights got carnations to toss to a few lucky ladies in the the audience. I just so happen to be one.
I sat between my step mom and my sister. Sue (the step mom), and I had so much fun cheering and yelling as obnoxiously as we could for our Knight. At times Livy would get Embarrassed and push my arm down. That just made me want to do it more!

If you have ever considered going to Medieval times before, just do it! Its a lot of fun!

Like Minds

I am coming to realize that the way I think/the way my mind works is rather odd.

At time when I try to express my self verbally, the people I am sharing with end up more confused then enlightened. So more often then not I keep most of my deeper thoughts to myself.

I do have one friend though that always seems to get me. I don't have to try to explain myself over and over again, he understand my abstract thoughts. I love it. Around him and I can throw up my verbal processing and he gets it. And with that, I feel blessed.

Not to change the subject but.....

I love my Missional Community. I love what God is doing among it, and I love the friendships I have gained because of it.
When I came back home after the summer I thought I would be coming back to the old normality's of the life I left. I had fear I fall back in to the complacent, disimpassioned person I had let myself become.
God knew better.
I have been overwhelmingly blessed with Gods love and community. The new people and friendships he has put in my life show how great his love is for me.

I am his daughter. I am his Beloved. I am His.

Snow Falling

Me time.

Its something that I so often forget to have.



These past 2 nights I have made fires in my fireplace and just "was". I was so deeply blessed by it. I journaled, read, prayed and just sat in silent. AMAZING.



God spoke to me a lot about who he was, and what he wants for me in this moment. I truely felt his love.



I also realized for me its NOT hard to love the poor but its hard for me to love the poor at heart. I really need God to give me the eyes to see them for who they are; His Children, his creations.



Something else God has been putting on my heart, is his creation. I know that I a lot of times take frograted what it is, and how we have a responsiblily to take care of it. We are destroing what he created with the cars we dive, the houses we heat, and the trash we throw out. How can I take responsibilty and care for this world!?