Saturday, March 12, 2011

I like being alone in public places.

I like being an observer. I like being silent amidst nose. I like not knowing and not being known. I like to make up stories about the people around me. I like to pretend I know what they are and who they are. I like watching awkward first dates. I like being unnoticed. I like over hearing conversations. I like to look at cute boys. I like the old. I like to see the young feeling independent. I like being surrounded by a dozen other mac books. I like... I like.... I LIKE.

My thoughts could continue on and on, but the thing I LOVE the most about being alone, is that I never feel alone and truly never am.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Tic Toc

Point interests south
Trickles of love
Layer after layer decay
Heart beat
Cold tear
Empty Soul.

Dry rushes of cold

In the end

Thursday, January 7, 2010


This past year was probably one of the hardest years in my life.
Lots of changes, lots of hurt, lots of disapointments, and lots of mistakes.

I moved 3 times.

I have hard a few job transitions.

I have been burnt out.

This year I give you myself. I don't want to do it alone. I want to live life the way that you want me to live my life. Not just what I want.

Thank you for your consistent love even though I consistently push you away. Thank you for your comfort even when you are the last place I run.

I love life with you.
I love who I am when I choose you.
I love how I feel when my identity is found in you.

You are my 1st love.


Thursday, December 17, 2009


Its hard to explain how awesome my family is... but seriously... I am so blessed.

Everything going on with my Grandpa has been bittersweet.
We are mourning and grieving but also celebrating the legacy he left behind.

My family is not afraid to be silly, we are not afraid to make a fool of ourselves, and we are not afraid to express ourselves.

We get that from my grandpa.

I think my uncles are the funniest people I know and my aunts the warmest.

We like to have sing a longs as a family.

We like to play charades and cheer for each other.

No one leaves feeling unloved, unwanted, or not specail.

We put on skits for each other.

We Hug and Kiss.

We can sit and chat for hours.

People are what matters.

I love my family.

Friday, November 27, 2009


The older I get the more and more I appreciate my family.

Since my parents are divorced and I live in the town that they both grew up in (and where most of both sides of my family still lives) Holidays have always been so crazy. I have always felt the pressure to make sure that I spread my time evenly. I didn't want one side of my family to feel less important then the other side... however... In the back of my mind.... I would always be complaining.... Just wishing that both of my families weren't so close and so big and that I would for once experience what a "relaxing" or "normal" holiday was like.

The past few years my mind set has completely changed. For whatever reason God has blessed me with probably the most amazing family in the world. Both sides are huge, and fun and loving.... I wouldn't trade them for the world. Some people don't family at all and spend every holiday alone.... and here I am complaining about having to many family members? THAT'S CRAZY.

I am blessed beyond words.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Icy Air

Inhalation of broken glass

each breath with its shards

Bleeding lungs

cool night air

make you remember

opens your soul

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Celebrating My Sisters Life!

I can hardly believe that my little sister Emily turns 11 years old tomorrow.

My love for her is sooooo huge.

Can I brag about her for a little bit?

~She is probably the most loving, non-judgmental kids (let alone person) I met in my entire life.
~She lives life to the fullest.
~Her personality is vibrant and people are just drawn to her.
~She never leaves anyone out.
~She is soooo hospitable (anyone that walks in to my parents house and feel so loved)
~She has the best sense of humor.. seriously she makes me laugh sooo hard.
(and there is more, but I wont keep going)

When I still lived at home I got the privilege of sharing a bedroom with her. One evening I was laying in bed reading and she woke up.... this was our conversation (remember she was maybe 7 years old at the time)

Me: "Hey Baby girl, why are you awake!?
Em: "I dont know, I just cant stop thinking about my friends from school."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Em: "Well, they just dont seem to love God the same way as I do... and it makes me sad and worried about them."


Not to mention that when she decided to follow Jesus at the young ripe ago of 5 or 6.....
(after she prayed telling God she wanted to live for him)
she said to my mom with tears running down her cheeks....

"Mom, I feel like a brand new kid"

She is such an amazing girl.

I am really excited to see what God has in-store for her and her life
I know his plans are big.
He is going to use her to touch so many people.

I pray that I am, and will continue to be an example of a Godly women to her.


Happy Birthday EMILY CLARE